NFL Picks, Week 16

Wow last week's effort was abysmal. I got caught putting too much stock in the favorites taking care of business, and instead the lesser teams rose up and smacked most of the better teams in the mouth. This week may not be any better, as 15 of the 16 games have some form of playoff implications (the exception being the Minnesota vs Washington game.

Despite my descent into picking record hell, I figured that, since Sunday is Christmas (that means most of the games are SATURDAY), I should take a look at each game and determine what we should be thankful for, as NFL fans.

KANSAS CITY (-2.5) over Oakland
What we are thankful for: That despite the death of Al Davis, the Raiders are still providing comedic fodder for the rest of the league. For the last 7-9 years, the Raiders have made questionable move after questionable move, and most of them were ascribed to the senility of Al Davis (it helped that he looked like the crypt keeper for the last few years). After Al passed, there was concern that the Raiders might become a normal team...then they traded a first rounder in 2012 and a second rounder in 2013 for Carson Palmer.

Jacksonville (+7.5) over TENNESSEE
What we are thankful for: That we root for a team in a better location and situation than Jacksonville*

*note: Does not include Jacksonville fans, luckily there are only about 2574 of them.

NEW ENGLAND (-9.5) over Miami
What we are thankful for: The consistency of the Patriots. Even when you take away Brady, they are what they are: a flawed team who will nevertheless take care of business during the regular season and continue their mastery of their division. If you're a fan, it's great. If you're not, they're always there to root against.

CINCINNATI (-4) over Arizona
What we are thankful for: Arizona's showing us how not to go about settling on a quarterback. To recap: Don't trade for an Andy Reid backup quarterback (also see Feeley, AJ). Don't immediately sign him to a lucrative extension. And don't forget that throwing passes up to Larry Fitzgerald doesn't necessarily take much.

Denver (-3) over BUFFALO
What we are thankful for: Watching NFL pundit after NFL pundit bite through their tongues while they praise Tim Tebow through clenched teeth during his 7-2 run as a starter this season, while waiting for the chance to deconstruct his unseemly throwing motion and declare that the Tebowne offense cannot work in today's NFL.

St. Louis (+14) over PITTSBURGH
What we are thankful for: That something game related has finally felled Roethlisberger. We all saw what happened with the last guy who couldn't be knocked out of a game (hint, he wears Wranglers).

New York Giants (+3) over NEW YORK JETS
What we are thankful for: Rex Ryan getting taken down a foot or two.

Minnesota (+6.5) over WASHINGTON
What we are thankful for: That quarterback guru Mike Shanahan has been forced to trot out the decrepit Donovan McNabb, the mad bomber Rex Grossman, and the unthreatening John Beck at the most important position during his Redskins tenure. Remember when your mother used to say, "Stop making that face before it sticks that way"? It's true, watch Mike Shanahan's permanently furrowed brow while he's coaching.

CAROLINA (-7.5) over Tampa Bay
What we are thankful for: Carolina proving that even football movies made for the 9-13 year old demographic can sometimes inspire NFL plays that lead to touchdowns.

BALTIMORE (-12.5) over Cleveland
What we are thankful for: That we're not Cleveland Browns fans.

San Diego (+2) over DETROIT
What we are thankful for: That we don't have Norv Turner as our head coach*

*note: Don't fret Chargers fans, this will apply to you too once week 17 is over.

DALLAS (-1.5) over Philadelphia
What we are thankful for: That even when it's not the Redskins doing it, buying a championship in March and April (or in this case, July) simply doesn't work, especially when you entrust your defense to your offensive line coach. Sorry Eagles.

SEATTLE (+2.5) over San Francisco
What we are thankful for: That Seattle is still playing meaningful games in December. Well, at least I'm thankful for it. Most of you don't care.

Chicago (+12) over GREEN BAY
What we are thankful for: What we are thankful for: Getting to watch Aaron Rodgers work. Guy is operating on a different planet right now. It's a lot of fun to watch.

NEW ORLEANS (-6.5) over Atlanta
What we are thankful for: That a guy like Drew Brees can go to a place like New Orleans to a team like the Saints, with their history, and turn them around into a perennial power to the league. Oh, and also for Beastquake last year.

And finally, we are thankful that these picks don't have any money behind them. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone!

This week: 0-1

Last week: 5-10-1
Overall: 38-37-3