Friday, September 14, 2012

NFL Picks, Week 2

Me: Wow, that was a rough week for me. 2 games under .500, I need to have a bounce-back week pretty bad. Oh, hey, Jay! I think I'm going to start my comeback by taking you over the Packers. I loved what you did against the Colts, and I think you guys have a shot to really go places this year. What do you say?

Jay Cutler:

Me: Umm, okay. I'll be honest, I was kind of hoping for a little bit more fire than that. Well...do you think you could, say, throw a few touchdowns in the game? It would help me out quite a bit. I'd like to get my picks percentage above your career winning percentage. 

Jay Cutler:

Me: No! No! That wasn't a dig. I...okay, maybe I overstepped asking for all those touchdowns. You're a team guy, right? I mean, if Matt Forte wants to gash through the Packers' defense, who are you to stand in the way, yeah? 

Jay Cutler:

Me: I...dude, that was a compliment. Those are good. You know what, forget it, the game's about to start. Good luck man. 

Jay Cutler:

Me: Yeah....uhh...oh, hey, one last thing, maybe try to keep the interceptions down?


Me: *facepalm*

As always, home team is in caps.

Kansas City (+3) over BUFFALO
Yikes, both of these teams fell on their faces in their respective openers. Look a little closer, though. Kansas City was without 4 defensive starters, including their best pass rusher (Tamba Hali) and cornerback (Brandon Flowers). Both will be back for this game. Buffalo...well, Ryan Fitzpatrick remembered he went to Harvard and had a mediocre at best game (195 yds, 3TDs, 3INTs). I'm taking Kansas City to avenge its 41-7 disaster at the hands of the Bills in week 1 last season.

CINCINNATI (-7) over Cleveland
Andy Dalton and AJ Green fashioned a playoff season last year out of beating up on bad teams. Cleveland's only hope to slow down the Dalton-Green tandem (CB Joe Haden) will miss the next 4 games due to suspension. Look on the bright side, Browns fans. Your quarterback can't possibly do this poorly again...right? Right? Why isn't anyone saying anything? Hello?

Minnesota (-1.5) over INDIANAPOLIS
Each team is a bad matchup for the other. Indy's not equipped to stop the run, and the Vikings have Adrian Peterson. The Vikings don't defend the pass well, and Indy has Luck. Minnesota can get after the quarterback, so I'm giving them the tiebreaker.

New Orleans (-2.5) over CAROLINA
The Saints were shocked by the next Cam Newton last week, and they get the real deal this week. While it would be tempting to take RGIII's performance last week as an indicator that a mobile QB can give the Saints defense a serious case of heartburn, it wasn't just Griffin that beat the Saints. The Redskins defense sacked Brees twice and picked him off twice more. The running game was good enough to keep the Saints off balance, and of course, Griffin was amazing. Add in the fact that this game will be played outdoors (where the Saints offense has been mortal), and Carolina looks like a sexy upset pick. I just don't see it. Cam doesn't have the quality of team around him that RGIII does, and Carolina will come up short trying to slow the Saints down.

Houston (-7) at JACKSONVILLE
Jacksonville and Blaine Gabbert looked surprisingly frisky in the OT loss to Minnesota last week. It helped that Gabbert was sacked only twice, and no times by the Vikings' defensive line (Jared Allen doesn't even appear on the stat sheet). Houston will provide a much more formidable challenge.

Oakland (-2.5) over MIAMI
Oakland's issues are about their depth. Miami's issues are about an overall dearth of talent on their roster. In week 15, this might be an even matchup. But it's not week 15 yet, Dolphins fans. Go back to sleep. Or at least, stay in blissful NFL ignorance.

NEW ENGLAND (-13.5) over Arizona 
Arizona has a tremendous defense (though CB Patrick Peterson is ailing), and are capable of mucking the game up and keeping scoring down. On the other hand, it's one thing to stop a rookie quarterback, it's a whole other thing to stop Tom Brady. The two biggest storylines in New England's opening week blowout were the performances of the defense and the running game. After this weekend, the running game chatter will cool off considerably, but the love for the defense will continue. Playing Jake Locker and Kevin Kolb back-to-back will do that.

NEW YORK GIANTS (-7) over Tampa Bay
Using their new-found discipline to frustrate their opponent and bog down the game works really well when your opponent is at a similar talent level (like, say Carolina). When they're much better than you (like, say the Giants), it doesn't work nearly as well, especially on the road.

Baltimore (+2.5) over PHILADELPHIA
If Ray Rice doesn't get 25+ carries in this game, John Harbaugh ought to have his head examined. When LeSean McCoy doesn't get 20 carries in this game, Andy Reid will be staring down the barrel of an 0-2 start, while Eagles fans continue to wonder why he never, ever learns his lesson.

ST. LOUIS (+3) over Washington 
Washington is riding high after knocking off the Saints, but they got to play the freewheeling game against New Orleans that RGIII thrives in. I don't think St. Louis will allow the same type of game, and I think the Redskins get bogged down by the Rams defense and the emotional hangover from their week 1 triumph.

Dallas (-3) over SEATTLE
I can't trust Seattle's defense after letting the Cardinals score 20 points and having a fresh-off-the-bench Kevin Kolb beat them. I can't trust Seattle's offense until I see the kid gloves come off of Russell Wilson and I see their receivers gain some separation from their defenders. I'm leery of Dallas making a cross-country flight after a big, emotional win over a division rival, but I don't trust Seattle to rise up and take advantage of that yet.

PITTSBURGH (-5) over New York Jets
Darrell Revis is out, which makes a big difference in the Jets' defense. Ben will buy time, Mike Wallace and Antonio Brown will get free, and big plays will happen. Can Sanchez and the Jets offense keep up? Not if the Steelers can put pressure on him.

SAN DIEGO (-6) over Tennessee 
Again, what is it that Tennessee does well? (Crickets) Exactly. Here's another game where we get to ride the Rivers roller coaster. If we get good Rivers, San Diego will win this one in a snoozer. If we get bad Rivers, we'll get treated to a Norv Turner special, where San Diego does everything wrong and Tennessee finally gets tired of San Diego handing them the game, so they take it and run away with it.

SAN FRANCISCO (-6.5) over Detroit 
Either Ndamokung Suh and friends throw a sack and turnover party in the San Francisco backfield all game long, or the 49ers will steamroll another NFC North team. Given Detroit's struggles defending the run, and how terrible their defensive backfield is, I'm going with the juggernaut.

Denver (+3) over ATLANTA
Manning in a dome. Atlanta's best CB is out for the season. Manning in a dome. Where's Atlanta's pass rush going to come from? Manning in a dome.

This week: 0-1
Last week: 6-10 (.375)

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