...Brett Favre changed his mind again.
Yes, that's right, Brett Favre's attempt to pass on the NFL was intercepted. The NFL's master of waffling added yet another flip flop to his legacy, deciding to come out of retirement to play for Minnesota.
Given everything that's been said and done over the last couple of months in the Favreverse, it's understandable that some of you might be a bit confused. I figured I'd lend you all my Brett Favre bull**** translator for his press conference:
What Brett said: "We had some great games against this organization. Some we won, some we lost."
What he means: "Yeah, sure we were 6-10 in Minnesota when I played in Green Bay. So what? In all 6 games that I decided to show up and stick to the game plan, we won. If my love of the game overwhelmed my job of not trying to do too much in those other 10 games, well, if that's wrong I don't want to be right."
What Brett said: "But I think that, in time, I've been welcomed today, it feels great."
What he means: "I can honestly say that at this time I have no plans to stab you guys in the back 6 months from now."
What Brett said: "Bottom line, this is football. Once you step into the huddle, I don't look at helmets, I look at faces."
What he means: "If the face looks properly appreciative of being a part of a game with the legendary me, I try to make the experience a little sweeter for that person by tossing him a football. It doesn't matter what helmet he's wearing, I can see how appreciative in his eyes. And let me tell you, sometimes, after a few games, my teammates forget just how appreciative they should be. They take playing a game with me for granted, just because they see me 6 days a week. But my opponents, they know how special it is to play in a game with me, and they know how special it is to catch one of the balls I throw."
What Brett said: "I think all the guys will know that I'm in it for the right reasons. And that's because I still love to play."
What he means: I love to play...as long as the temperature isn't below 55 degrees. Then I might do things that will get the game over with a little sooner so I can go inside and warm up."
What Brett said: "I still feel like I can help this team, or whichever team, that's willing to take a chance"
What he means: "Don't forget, I work for one guy: me. Stay on my good side, or all of a sudden I'll go colorblind out there on the field. And don't tell me to 'stay within the system' or some other garbage. I love Adrian Peterson, he helped me win my fantasy league last year (or so my kid tells me, I don't know how to turn on my computer). But I'm Brett Favre! No one wants to come to a Brett Favre game and see us run it 35 times. That's boring."
What Brett said: "There's people out there taking sides, you know, and whatever."
What he means: "Stop it Peter King, stop telling everyone how this is a mistake. I made you. And I can break you. Get back on the right side, or else..."
What Brett said: "This is not about revenge."
What he means: "This is entirely about revenge. Suck it Ted."
What Brett said: "You can't take away the 16 years in Green Bay, and that will be forever cherished by me."
What he means: "Green Bay loved me and paid attention to me for 16 years, and it ws good. Then they ignored me, so I moved on. The Jets loved me for about a season, then I just ddin't feel properly appreciated, so I moved on. Be warned, Brad. If you so much as look at another quarterback, I'm leaving so fast I'll leave tractor tire tracks on my way back to Mississippi."
What Brett said: "I think it's great for football."
What he means: "I'm a very important person who loves the game of football. You are all blessed to have the chance to watch me for one more season. Love me and shower me with attention!"
I hope this translator helped.
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