Sarcastic Guy, Vol. 3

Disclaimer: The Mariners finished up a 9-game road trip on Sunday at Fenway Park. They went 5-4 on this trip against the LA Dodgers, NY Yankees, and Boston Red Sox. All in all, given the current state of their rotation and infield, this can only be considered an unqualified success. However, I was at Sunday's game, which doubles as the one game (out of 3) Seattle dropped in Boston (also an unqualified success.

The Mariners showed a lot of fight at Fenway, and this included game 3 of the series, as Seattle held a 4-3 lead going into the 7th inning. Brandon Morrow (you may remember him from Vol. 1 of this series), started the game and pitched 6 innings of 3 run ball. It was in the 7th inning when a lot of people wearing Mariner uniforms caught a rough case of the stupids.

First up: Seattle manager Don Wakamatsu. Bringing in Miguel Batista out of the bullpen is a good decision IF you are up or down by 4+ runs at the time. I'm pretty sure a 4-3 lead does not qualify as either situation.

Then we get to Miguel himself. Miguel, you're 38. Your fastball tops out at 88-89 mph, and your off-speed stuff is flatter than Keira Knightly's chest. The only way you can succeed is to pound the zone and hope your fielders make plays. You threw 9 strikes and 13 balls to the 5 batters you faced. I know it was the Red Sox lineup and they can be frightening to a 38-year-old who dabbles in jazzy/blues music, but you are what you are. Pitchers don't change their stripes at age 38 unless illicit steroids are involved. And if you're taking steroids, you need to go get a refund.

At this point, it was 4-4, there were 2 outs, and runners on 1st and 3rd. Wak finally realized that good old Miguel didn't belong out there, and brought in hard-throwing-kind-of-wild Mark Lowe in to try and stop the bleeding. Here's what happened:
Ball, Ball, Ball, Ball (walk, bases now loaded)
Ball, Ball, Strike! (it's a miracle), Ball, Ball (walk, run scores)
Ball, Strike, Ball, Ball, Strike, Single (2 runs score)
That's 4 strikes in 15 pitches. I may have rounded incorrectly, but I believe that's You're an idiot percent.

At this point Wak came out, took the ball from Lowe, shot him, and turned him into glue. Sean White came in, another guy who doesn't have great stuff, but can get lots of groundballs.

He, in fact, gets a strikeout...but not before his catcher (the atrocious and grossly overpaid Kenji Johjima) allowed a passed ball ON A STRIKE!!!!! Of course Jacoby Ellsbury was on thrid at the time, so you can guess how that turned out.

So, in the end, that inning can be scored as
5 runs, 3 hits, 3 walks, 1 idiotic manager decision, a complete inability to throw strikes by 2 pitchers, and a catcher who decided to fall asleep because the inning lasted 9 batters.

Other than that, it was a wonderful game to watch.