To Brad Childress: I'm sorry Brad. I really thought I was ready to come back and take your veteran team to the next level. In the end, you really shouldn't have been so demanding of me...it was kind of a buzzkill. Wanting me at 100% of training camp? C'mon, I'm like 60 years old. I know your offense like the back of my hand...and we both know I'm going to chuck the ball wherever I feel like it anyway. Also, forcing me to "bond" with the guys? Just because a few losers on the Jets blamed me for us missing the playoffs last season doesn't mean I'm a bad teammate. I'm a fine teammate, as long as everyone else gives me my space. Seriously, when Tarvaris Jackson and Sage Rosenfels are your other options, you should be more accomodating to my wishes. They're going to throw interceptions as well, but instead of the interceptions being loveable (like mine), they'll be plain old bad decisions. Good luck.
To the Green Bay Packers fans: There. I could have joined the Vikings and torched you guys twice this season...but I didn't. Love me again? Please?
To the media: Are you happy now? You used to shower me with praise, I could toss an interception 13 yards beyond the line of scrimmage, and all they'd talk about is how much I love the game. Those were the days. Just because I retired already, you turn on me. Well, good luck filling your offseason sotry quotas now.
To Peter King: Really Peter? I wasn't too surprised when the other jackals turned on me, but you? I've given you exclusive after exclusive, and now you call my story "tired". Make a point of refusing to mention my name in your columns? How dare you Peter, I am outraged.
To everyone else: Don't worry, there's always next week.
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